so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
How naked do you want me to be?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
