Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
