My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
