we have pet lesbian snakes
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
