never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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