I'm laying in your front yard are you home
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
