so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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