he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
