I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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