i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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