We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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