Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You're like the curious george of whores
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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