I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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