I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
nutella sex= disaster
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
