its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
