I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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