I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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