Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
