I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
