problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
