she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
