i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
