You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
