I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
