..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
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