Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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