I want to stick my p in your. b.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
