So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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