i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
