Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I need a beard to bite.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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