I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
