I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize