the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
