hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
