Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
