I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
