I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.