Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.