We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
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You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
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why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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