I think i sorta joined a cult last night
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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