Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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