Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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