oh god the rape fog is back!
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
