OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
