we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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