bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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