It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
