Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
