She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
