well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
do nipples grow back?
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