I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
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It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
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No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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