1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
