the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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