The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Just fell off a train. Bad.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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