the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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