im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It's never too late to be topless.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
