would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
