Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize