I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
