he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
