Will you blow on my dice?
oh god the rape fog is back!
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
