I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
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Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
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My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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