ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
