I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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