well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
