She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
